Shoulder to shoulder

Parents of teenagers might notice how conversations flow more easily in the car. There’s something about sitting side by side, looking ahead, that makes it less awkward to open up.

Too often, we sit across from each other to hash out the tough things—arguments, negotiations, decisions. The table becomes a barrier, the eyes a challenge. But when we sit next to one another, there’s a quiet invitation: let’s not oppose; let’s explore.

This was brought to life for me during a discussion with the Co-Pilots of Coaching On the Go. We were asked to sit shoulder to shoulder instead of face to face and, in turn, reflect on a simple question. It felt different. The lack of eye contact created space. Ideas flowed more naturally. A comment from Andrej (Andy) Drinovsky struck me. He mentioned how this way of connecting goes back to our ancestors, gathering around fires at night. The conversations they would have in this way strengthened bonds and built community – they weren’t just practical, they were human.

Today, as leaders work to rebuild company culture, maybe it’s time to move away from across-the-desk conversations and create modern “firepits,” making space for connection, trust, and understanding.

Next time a tough conversation looms, try tackling it sitting shoulder to shoulder. You might find that the barriers fall away, and solutions spark in the shared view ahead.